You can listen to this past Sunday’s letter recording via the player embedded in this letter, or you can open the recording in your preferred podcast app.
This is the fourth episode of Mind Marginalia, containing the recording of the letter “you are here,” (a recording that is, admittedly, rife with mispronunciations and word-stumbling, but like the letters, I have left it as-is, because, that’s just how it is, right now). There is also a little bit more on that elusive Widow Guide to the Holidays; a series of Instagram posts I saved this week, which I think tell you quite accurately what kind of week it was for me; and a poem.
As always, thank you for being here with me.
From the letter…
Though I hope for it, I know I’m not going to stumble across a “Widow Guide to the Holidays,” but if I were to make one for myself, I think it would say some of these things:
Appreciate the silent kindness of your parents who haven’t played Christmas music, or brought out Christmas decorations, or watched holiday movies because you are still living with them
Cry thinking about how your beloved would always buy your family a board game for the holidays, and how he always bought you a ‘secret gift,’ that you always guessed ahead of time, to his chagrin, and your delight
Release yourself from feeling like you have to accept the holidays, allow yourself to feel that they can just be days you have to survive, like all the other days
Get outside, if you can, and try not to think about the weeks that are coming, try to look at the gleam of holiday lights on the houses and appreciate the light
Try to be honest with yourself, admit you will need to ask your friends and family for help, write them cards and tell them how much you love them, let the winter season, if it has to come for you, be one where love makes itself known